due to the lack of inspiration, creativity..
whatchamacallit,
this author, thepoetwhoforgot-
shall take a step back,
and try to recall what it was
she was supposed to have remembered.

Coldplay Lyrics
Viva La Vida Lyrics

i took a long walk today
huddled against the cold
the ipod, my buffer
and solitude, my sole companion
i don't know what i was walking for
i don't know what i needed to see
everything seemed so far away
and the lure of the sign was enticing and deep
i took one look
and i walked on by
and then i walked past what,
what, perhaps i'd been meaning to reach
unconsciously
i'd walked to that i was yearning for
it took a glance
and a tilt of the head
the light was on
somebody was, is home
was it you?
i took one look
a smile upon my face
i remember how it was before,
before darkness shaded it all
and i walked on by.
yes,
i chose to walk on by.

i looked through your box of notes
for something that you were looking for
if there's one memory even that you could keep
i doubt it will fail to make you weep

i know it's cold outside.
as you try,
i know you can't help but lie,
see what it feels like to die.
this can't be the end.

gravity pulls us all down
as we crash and burn
we can only try to make it and learn
even angels cry sometimes

i believe the magic of the artificial high
as it makes you smile,
maybe just for awhile.

the pain i see in your eyes
it's such a surprise
how long before you come down,
crashing and bound

i wish i had more to say
as you sat there in your hell
the daily grind messing you inside
it isn't that simple, i find.

i wish i could take your pain,
and say my shoulders can bear more than yours,
but you're stronger than me.
i can see through the wreck that you surmise.

every inch of hurt,
i feel it amplify in me.
remember how we used to laugh,
is it so far away this time?

i hold on to you, it's all i can do.
this poem i write, it's all i can do.
only words, but it's all i can do.

even at goodbye,
you still had the heart to make me cry.
it wasn't enough for you,
that you broke my heart in two.
you had to leave with the windows broken,
and the roof un-fixed.
you had to leave with our photo torn,
and the gas leak.

i see all along,
that i was the only one standing still.
the smallness of me,
enveloped in the enormity of you.

this anorexia,
to throw up the goodness,
and ravish the bad.
to cleanse myself of all that was black.

i returned time and time,
to the door you left behind.
each time i could fly,
i clipped my wings a little bit inside.

a chained bird,
a tame butterfly.
when freedom seemed like a past lifetime.

i watched you,
as you took your turn with the dice.
even at goodbye,
you remembered to make me cry.

waiting/ how long can you stand/ for the plane to crash/ or the birds to fly/ as the hours go by/ today, tonight/ what is the point in my life?/ where i may lay down and cry/ to think back and reminisce/ today, tonight/ drugs don't seem to numb/ my head spins still and nothing can be done/ work is piling,/ i am drowning/ slowly but surely/ am i dying?/ today, tonight/ can i imagine all the people like me now/ streets a-barren/ cities a-lit/ yet in the busiest clubs of downtown/ music can't drown out nor block/ the sight and the sound/ of many a broken crowd/ dance dance/ smoke smoke/ inhale, exhale/ drink drink/ kiss kiss/ love/ drugs/ sex/ where does life factor in?/ where is the meaning?/ in the end despite what they call them/ the only real stars are those/ up in the sky in the twilight.

©Sophie Ng 2005

the beat starts up, the lights dim.
it feels like home,
my head starts to pound.
drop after drop,
it burns inside,
i feel the pain dissipate.
the music picks me up and sets me down,
i sweat, and i'm surrounded by sound.
bodies glide, and stick-
strands plastered to my face,
empty bottles litter the floor.
held hostage to the ache,
it all ends when i wake.